These are the days

 

I lay the boys down to bed before laying with Ruby. The shades are drawn. The sun is still peaking through the blinds.  Ruby and I finish our book and while we prays she always asks, "Mommy, what did we do today?" I go through the day and she thanks Jesus for what we did. We exchange our I love yous, kisses and hugs and I ask her if she wants me to lay with her for five or ten minutes. She always responds with,"Ten minutes SLOWEST."

 

She falls into dreamland. I think back on the day realizing how in the midst of everything it can feel long and monotonous. But in the grand scheme of things these are the days that Tim and I will reminisce over. The "remember whens" and the "wow, times flies" will soon be our reality.  

 

 

I walk out of Ruby's room as she's sleeping and start to pick up the left over tornado debris that sweeps through my house daily. The books, the favorite stuffed puppies, the balls, the cars and the princesses accessories. The colors and notebooks filled with treasures. The dinner dishes. The food on the floor that gets squished between my toes. The piles of laundry.

 

I get it picked up. Uninterrupted. In the quiet. I start to regain some sanity.

 

 

 

I thank Jesus for this mess because I get to have kids.

 These day are sweet. They are challenging.

 

It's our beautiful chaos.

These moments are fleeting and I don't want to forget.

 



 

These are the days...

 

when I'm looking for wide open spaces for the kids to let off some steam. Parks are a favorite too, but the boys have figured out a way to make parks a bit unsafe.

 

 

 

These are the days...

 

when couch cushions spread over the floor make great slides and climbing toys. It will entertain them for hours.

 

When naked time is a highlight of their day. In fact, it's a great mood changer. If they aren't getting along, naked time brings instant happiness every time.

 

The way we carry the boys to bed, singing our nightly song that they hum with us as they move their heads side to side, smiling as we lay them down. They wave at each other across the room and sometimes blow kisses. We turn on the sound machine and the star nightlight and they lay in their crib's smelling their favorite blanket and binky.




 

 

These are the days...



The way Ruby mothers those boys.

The way that she loves them

and is concerned for them when they are about to pull some Evel Knievel act together.

 

She gets their attention and can change their course just by her smile and encouragement.

The way all the kids desire kisses from each other. Their constant smacking of the lips and heads extended forward toward each other needs no words. They drop what they're doing and give out their best.

 

These are the days...

 

when my hair is dirty more often than clean and my TOM hat is a regular accessory. When the thing you're looking forward to is not a vacation but a shower...I know, Pathetic...please tell me you can relate?

These moments when I go behind a closed door for 30 seconds and all hell breaks loose. It shouldn't surprise me how in a moment everyone can be hurt and crying so fast.

We are still singing our #1 favorite song regularly to the children. It's called,

"You Can't Always Get What You Want."

We sing it not only to Ruby anymore. The boys get it sung to them often, too.

Ruby has even sung it to ME.

 

"Your going to have to..."   "...Wait." Is a close second as daddy and Ruby dialogue this one daily.

 

These are the days...

 

when Tim or I lay on the floor and the boys see us as an instant jungle gym, cuddle fest or a trampoline. Oliver cracks up and thinks it's hilarious to sit on my stomach really hard over and over again. The floor time ends there.

 

 

These are the days...

 

in the car when out of nowhere you hear giggling from the back. They're playing peek-a-boo and it's enough to entertain them.

 

The way they say "daddy" and "mommy." They way they look at us. This awesome connection that just comes from how they look at us, it's the reassurance they need. A safety that they can only get from Mom and Dad.

That ultra tight hug that Oliver gives. The kisses and kisses Simon gives and conversation with Ruby. She has such a beautiful heart.

 

These are the days...

 

when car rides are bliss for Tim and me.

 

Something as simple as spending the evening on the couch together after the kids are all in bed. Moments like this are almost as close to a date night that we get.

 

We celebrate over nachos or pizza. It's nothing fancy, but I'm not in this for fancy. It's a evening of no interruptions and no extra dishes and that's enough to make us happy.

 

It's the many moments when life is crazy busy, balancing three children four and under, which all of them play off each other. That Tim stops me in my tracks, gives me that hug, that kiss, that touch, that look, that is a reminder that we are in this together. We're a team. And I let out a huge sigh and it gives me the balance I need.

 

When Tim and I can take a stroll at Holmes Lake. I can close my eyes and pretend we're in Hawaii. It's the cheapest vacation I've ever taken. It kind of works for around 30 seconds or so, but sometimes it's all I need!

 

 



 

Right now the kids want to be with us. I know there is a day coming when this won't be the case. During this time in life I hear my name "mommy" cried out in such desperate longing as if  they haven't seen me all day. All they want is me to hold them and be with them. No words needed, just time invested. Constantly.

 

These days have definitely proven to me just how selfish I really am. Being a mother is all about self sacifice. Pick up your cross and get off the couch. Put down your phone and make dinner. Stop dreaming of... "When they grow up, then we can..."
Get over it, Emily.


These are the days right now. I'm living them. 

Right now we are their main influence. Our goal is to teach, teach, teach, and then discipline.
I fail daily.

 

I'm learning to close my mouth more and trying hard to listen instead of lecturing. I'm sure this will get even more challenging as they get older.

 

 

 

Right now I can say that I love the smell of their necks, cheeks, ears, and lips.  In fact, I've called both boys "Mr. Delicious" and Ruby, "Mrs. Delicious." ;)

 

 



These are the days...

 

 where Ruby is asking them to say "daddy," "mommy," and other words they can say.

They repeat the requested words back to her and she gets a huge kick out of it, cracking up at them and saying, "That's adorable." My favorite is when they call her "bee-bee" or "ooby."

 

These are the days...

 

when all at once my children become demanding. I can handle it for a while. Then, all the sudden, all love and logic goes out the window. I shout out something. I feel like the bad parent of the year. I forget how to respond. Instead, I react.

 

 I'm thankful they are resilient.

 

 



There are many days that we pray out loud that Jesus would help us with something. Recently I will hear Ruby ask Jesus to help mommy with something...help find something... hope something's not broke.

 

It's not only awesome to hear her do this spontaneously, but almost every time whatever she is praying for God answers. My prayers are different. Things that are so far ahead in life. Hers are right now. I see him answer them.

 

It blows my mind.

 

We celebrate that!

 



When Target is the outing that I'm looking forward to in the day and when I finally get there. My children start acting out and the thing that I was looking forward to is now become a stressful event. I try to tame my three wilds...who am I kidding?

 

Let's GO.
 

 



 



 

The way they love to hold hands!

 

 



 

The way their daddy loves them, cares for them, talks to them, spend times with them.

 

 The way they look at his pictures on the wall and say his name. The way when they hear daddy come in the door they rush to see him. They way they look at him, love him, and want to be with him.

 

 



 

This bond that is so close so early on. Twins fascinate me...
 

 





 

 

 

 

This little lady has a million and one questions daily. It can be irritating during my selfish time's but she's really learning so much right now and soaking it all in. She'll ask me a lot if I did what she's doing at that moment when I was a little girl. She ask about my mother a lot. She wants to know the names of her grandparents' parents! She's thoughtful and a joy. 

 

And these kids are all mine.

 

oh, and Tim's, too.

 

These are the days...

 

help me cling to each beautiful one.

mommy, you're right!

 "Ruby, do you want the light on or off?"

 "On!!"

"Would you like an apple or berries?" 

"Berries!!"

 

"Dinner is over in 10 minutes..."

 

"The car is leaving in 5 minutes. Come along if you want to have fun."

 

"Feel free to pick up the toys you want to keep!"

I leave the room for a few minutes and she's busy picking them up. No complaining! Because there was a few times I put all the toys in a garbage bag and put them in the basement.

She learned FAST.

 

This works like a charm when I remember to do it.

 

 

 

I started doing the "Love and Logic" book with Ruby four months after the boys were born. I was desperate to figure out how to help her adjust to the craziness of her new world.

She responded well to it. I have to revisit the ways of love and logic since I've always been a reactor instead of a responder. I love how simple the book is. It's just not simple to do.

I'm learning that our mother/daughter relationship has an ebb and flow to it.  Sometimes I don't realize where we are in the cycle of those ebbs and flows until I start pulling out love and logic again, thinking I've have this challenging daughter.

In the last two weeks this book, those chapters, words and phrases have been repeating in my mind. "Emily don't react. Breath. Think. Then respond."
 



 

That voice in my head tells me that I can't do this parenting thing. It's just too hard (Kudos to those of you who have more than three children).

 

 I bite my tongue as I want to say a comment to Ruby that will do no good. Sometimes in mid-sentence I change my direction and tone and suck it up. Other times it's too late and I said something out of frustration. Which leads me to apologize to her.

  

I don't consider her strong willed. And I'm not bragging when I say this, but I think she's a smart girl who get it. She know how to push buttons. I see her do this with the boys all the time. I see it in her eyes. I watch her body language. She's easy to read. And I'm on to her!

 

 Yes. I've said that ridiculous phrase. "I'm older than you." I've been on this earth longer than you have. She looks at me, confused. I turn my back to her and roll my eyes at myself and think... did I JUST say that?

 

 

I'm trying to celebrate her good behavior. There is almost nothing cooler then talking positive about her to her. Or talking positive about her to Tim in front of her. Her whole face lights up. Her eyes literally shine. Her face radiates joy. And she acts better.

Today was a pleasure with her. Not that everyday isn't. I just didn't have a fight with her on everything that came out of my mouth.

Today, she actually said to me...

 "Mommy, you're right."
 

I had to ask her to repeat that! I danced over that phrase. I let her know how good that was to hear coming from her. So she told me I was right on a few other things, watching my response.

 

I have to remind myself that the reason I'm doing this is to help her be responsible for her choices. It also helps Tim and I keep our sanity! I love that I don't have to gripe at her. Our relationship has gotten better.

 

I'm so thankful for this book and the many mom's that recommended it. It has truly been a God send.

Trust me, it's not always cake. It's hard work and it goes against my grain.

However, has taught me patience and I've had to chill out on a lot of stuff.  But anything that's worth doing is worth doing well.

 

And she's worth it.