mommy, you're right!

 "Ruby, do you want the light on or off?"

 "On!!"

"Would you like an apple or berries?" 

"Berries!!"

 

"Dinner is over in 10 minutes..."

 

"The car is leaving in 5 minutes. Come along if you want to have fun."

 

"Feel free to pick up the toys you want to keep!"

I leave the room for a few minutes and she's busy picking them up. No complaining! Because there was a few times I put all the toys in a garbage bag and put them in the basement.

She learned FAST.

 

This works like a charm when I remember to do it.

 

 

 

I started doing the "Love and Logic" book with Ruby four months after the boys were born. I was desperate to figure out how to help her adjust to the craziness of her new world.

She responded well to it. I have to revisit the ways of love and logic since I've always been a reactor instead of a responder. I love how simple the book is. It's just not simple to do.

I'm learning that our mother/daughter relationship has an ebb and flow to it.  Sometimes I don't realize where we are in the cycle of those ebbs and flows until I start pulling out love and logic again, thinking I've have this challenging daughter.

In the last two weeks this book, those chapters, words and phrases have been repeating in my mind. "Emily don't react. Breath. Think. Then respond."
 



 

That voice in my head tells me that I can't do this parenting thing. It's just too hard (Kudos to those of you who have more than three children).

 

 I bite my tongue as I want to say a comment to Ruby that will do no good. Sometimes in mid-sentence I change my direction and tone and suck it up. Other times it's too late and I said something out of frustration. Which leads me to apologize to her.

  

I don't consider her strong willed. And I'm not bragging when I say this, but I think she's a smart girl who get it. She know how to push buttons. I see her do this with the boys all the time. I see it in her eyes. I watch her body language. She's easy to read. And I'm on to her!

 

 Yes. I've said that ridiculous phrase. "I'm older than you." I've been on this earth longer than you have. She looks at me, confused. I turn my back to her and roll my eyes at myself and think... did I JUST say that?

 

 

I'm trying to celebrate her good behavior. There is almost nothing cooler then talking positive about her to her. Or talking positive about her to Tim in front of her. Her whole face lights up. Her eyes literally shine. Her face radiates joy. And she acts better.

Today was a pleasure with her. Not that everyday isn't. I just didn't have a fight with her on everything that came out of my mouth.

Today, she actually said to me...

 "Mommy, you're right."
 

I had to ask her to repeat that! I danced over that phrase. I let her know how good that was to hear coming from her. So she told me I was right on a few other things, watching my response.

 

I have to remind myself that the reason I'm doing this is to help her be responsible for her choices. It also helps Tim and I keep our sanity! I love that I don't have to gripe at her. Our relationship has gotten better.

 

I'm so thankful for this book and the many mom's that recommended it. It has truly been a God send.

Trust me, it's not always cake. It's hard work and it goes against my grain.

However, has taught me patience and I've had to chill out on a lot of stuff.  But anything that's worth doing is worth doing well.

 

And she's worth it.