a new pair of eyes

Wow 2012, you had tons of surprises in store for this family!

 I've been looking back through my pictures from the year and honestly, this year has changed us the most during my married life, probably in my whole life.

I was thinking back to last December 22, 2011 with our positive pregnancy test. I was jumping up and down in the bathroom at 6 o'clock in the morning, praising God and trying not to wake Ruby. I walked (wanting to skip) in our bedroom and said, with tears running down my face and in complete shock, "Honey, we're going to have a baby!" We were so thrilled and excited we couldn't sleep so we had to celebrate our little miracle with some tasty breakfast.

 The first three months brought me much morning (translate: all day) sickness. I spent most of my days off in bed with Ruby. She would watch a movie and I would dose off, sleeping the sickness away. When I wasn't in bed we did things you can do with one child.  We gave her lots of attention. She was two and a half years old and really pretty easy.

11 weeks pregnant

During the first few months of the pregnancy, people mentioned that I looked big. I thought,

 "It's my second pregnancy. I have no stomach muscles. And yes, I'm big."

21 weeks pregnant

The day before Tim's birthday we had our first ultra-sound. While the doctor was doing his review he said, "Uh, Guys..." We both started to panic.  When a doctor says something like that during an exam, you freak out. Thoughts fill your head like, "Is the baby OK?" "Does it have six heads?" "Is it an alien?" I immediately processed that as bad news.

 "You have TWO!"

 I'm not kidding, you could hear a pin drop. "...huh?" Processing. Can't processes that fast.  After what felt like minutes I said, "Tim?!" I wasn't sure if he passed out. He was sitting in a chair and I couldn't see him the way I was laying.

 The next thing out of my mouth was, "Are they healthy?" The doctor responded, "Oh, yes! They look GREAT!!" I felt like I had just won the lottery but on a much bigger scale.

Thinking back on my childhood, I remember talking with my friends about someday wanting to have twins. I'm not sure if every little girl thinks like this. I just never thought I would be that person.

During  pregnancy I spent my time eating a lot of protein. A LOT of protein. I'll never forget it. I had to consume 120 grams a day. That's the same amount as professional bodybuilders eat!  But, I guess I was a bodybuilder, only building two at a time! When I ate I had to check a box off a daily list to make sure these babies would grow.

Thankfully I had a pretty uneventful pregnancy. I Just got REALLY big. Before I delivered, I measured 55 weeks pregnant. 55 weeks?  That's measuring over a YEAR pregnant!  Trust me, I felt like I was a year pregnant.   I got really tired of all the comments from strangers. Their jaws would drop,and their eyes would bulge. And the ridiculous statements that were made! I felt like I should of been in the freak show at the fair, sitting next to the bearded lady. It didn't help that the summer was one of the hottest it's been in years. I would step outside and swell up like a elephant.

This was 3 days before my water broke!

When the babies were born It was truly a life changing event. I came out a stronger, more confident woman.

I am so thankful and blessed! Simon was 5.7 lbs and Oliver was 6.8 lbs. I loved my midwife and birth team. I am so glad I got to know them. Simon came naturally and Oliver took his time coming and turned the wrong way at the last minute.

***

As a side note, for those of you that like birth stories and have been asking about mine, I'm planning on writing it out soon.

The doctor cut through my bladder during the c-section. I was in surgery much longer then what was planned. Ten days after babies were born, I developed a abscess. I was then hospitalized for staph infection. I had another surgery and was sent home with a wound vac. I was in a lot of pain during those weeks as I healed. The doctor told me to go home, put my feet up and get LOTS of sleep.

"Sure, Doc, I'll get right on that as soon as my babies are grown."

Our world was turned upside down and inside out.

first time the babies were together (it took a week!). Unbelievable.

Healing... healing... healing...

The first eight weeks of the boys home was an eye opener. I wish we could have had more sleep during that time. Ruby just turned three years old. She had always been the only child. Now her life was changing and I couldn't give her the time she was used to. But she honestly handled it like a champ!

I went from being a mom of one to a mom of THREE! I now know what people were talking about when they mentioned feeling out numbered.  Being out numbered with a three year old and two infants brings a whole new look to it. Whew! Zombie parents!

                                                                              Beautiful

                                                                              Love

                                                                              Excited

                                                                              Sleep deprived

                                                                              Secure

                                                                              Elated

                                                                              Delighted

 How did God think we could handle this? We did get some help from wonderful people, but we were mostly on our own.

God has a plan. Right?

 "How am I going to do this?" I ask myself. I never had an answer. I just kept taking care of those babies and my three year old. I couldn't help falling in love with my new "big" family even though I was in survival mode. I honestly didn't know my heart could grow bigger. 

We started coming up for air around the boys being nine weeks old. At that time I was was almost fully healed from my surgery. It felt so good to hear those words. Ruby was doing really well. I enjoyed watching her as she blossomed into being a big sister, which she wears really well.  Tim was back to work. I also started back a few hours and that was just what I needed.

And now here we are at the beginning of 2013. Looking back and reflecting on 2012 I am feeling abundantly blessed. My cup is overflowing. We may not have much money but I feel richly blessed beyond any dream that I've ever dreamed.  

I find myself smiling as I take care of these children. I have to keep reminding myself that I get to keep them! Really? SWEET!

Really sweet, indeed...

November 2012

I'm so excited and looking forward to teaching them as they teach me. I  am reminded myself regularly what it is to see through there eyes by having a child-like faith.  I can't wait. But please, take your time!

So my goal as a mother is to invest as much as I can in these children for the time that I have them. My husband reminds me, "Emily, we get one shot at this." So here is to 2013! May it be filled with much joy, living intentionally and teachable moments.

Cheers!